I could’ve been better..

Sometimes when I find myself so busy, I tend to ignore any incoming messages or call from my friends, not respond to them rite away, and will mostly do that like hours later. It shouldn’t be like that.

Sometimes when I am too occupied with works and too lazy to go out, I say no to my friends’ invitation to hang out, or worse, say yes then cancel it, and let them down, tho’ I don’t mean to. It shouldn’t happen that way.

Sometimes I can be very selfish and forget to say “hi”, drop a simple message, make a short call, or check on my friends. Shouldn’t let that happen.

Then I got my wake up calls.

I didn’t know that my bestfriend’s Dad passed away. I only found out later that day and directly went to her house only to know that the funeral was held in the morning. I cried and regretted that I wasn’t there for her through one of toughest day in her life.

I haven’t been in contact with a dear friend of mine for years. I wasn’t there when she was through a hard time during her Dad’s sickness and when he passed away. I missed a lot of things in her life. And then I dreamed about her. And I felt hurt.

They are only two of some wake up calls that I got. The two calls that woke me up. Slapped me in the face.

I should’ve and could’ve been better. Should pay more attention. Should put them as my priorities. Shouldn’t be too selfish and ignorant.

I do love my dear friends. I cherish our friendship. I always keep them in my heart. I never forget them, ever. 

But I know I haven’t been a good friend for them, dear friends whom I said I love and care about. Words are not and never enough to tell them how much they mean to me. I should’ve shown it. Show them I care. Show them I love.

I do hope that I still have the chance, the time, the opportunity. 

For I could have been and will try to be a better person. A better friend.

Nelya, Indri, Yanti, Walla, Aydo, Flo,

Our friendship means a lot to me. Please forgive my selfishness and help me to be a better friend for you all.

Love.

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